Living vanlife with a significant other has so many benefits. Jake and I are very happy to have each others company for sharing moments, tackling problems, and preventing loneliness.
However, sharing a 60sq ft box as your only living space definitely presents some new challenges. There are bound to be arguments and times when you get in each other’s way.
But follow these tips for living vanlife as a couple and I promise there will be peace flowing throughout the van!
1. Communication
Communication is key when living in such tight quarters 24/7 with your significant other.
And to be honest, it’s the glue to any successful relationship. It can be easy to get on each other’s nerves at times, and there’s nowhere to hide your emotions. So things can boil to the surface quickly.
Let each other know when you need space, or if something is bothering you.
Sometimes it feels easier to bottle up your emotions, but you can never reach mutual understanding that way.
Totally honest communication is the only way to identify and acknowledge each other’s needs. It is the key to any great relationship and the ultimate tip for living vanlife as a couple!
2. Give Yourself Alone Time
This one is super important! Because when you live in a van, you are almost always with each other 24/7, it’s important to take time for yourself.
This helps you keep your individuality, and feel that you have some control over “me time”.
It can be hard in such a small space, but try to designate two separate sections of the van, like bed and bench or front seats. Or invest in some noise-canceling headphones. This is the time you can watch the TV show (Cough Cough: The Bachelor) the other doesn’t like, or take the time to read or journal.
3. Get Out And Explore
Fresh air is key when living in a van, because it’s easy to feel claustrophobic or cabin fever.
So go on a walk, run, or hike to clear your head and get some exercise. It’s been proven that nature is healing, and great for the body and soul. You can do it together, or alone to give you some time apart.
4. Don’t Let Arguments Last Long
Arguments that last multiple hours/days can really sour the mood in your household.
This is another part where communication is key. Talk out your frustrations with each other, maybe separate for a little time to reflect on the argument and come back to talk about how you can both make things different.
The key to resolving disagreements is to listen to each other and be willing to make changes to fix the problem.
Always apologize, and follow the principle all elderly people will tell you “Don’t go to bed angry”. It really is great advice!
5. Plan Romantic Dates
I honestly think we need to do this one more!
Just because you are together 24/7 doesn’t mean you can’t make certain times “special”. Grab a nice bottle of wine, some fancy cheese and watch the sunset somewhere beautiful!
These little gestures can help show your partner that you care.
6. Stay Organized
One quick way to make your small space feel even smaller is to let it get messy.
There simply isn’t room for a big mess. So try to stay organized and know where things are kept, then chances are you will both be happier and overall there will be fewer frustrations!
And let’s be real, you live in a 60sq ft box. Taking that extra time to keep things clean and tidy shouldn’t be that hard!
7. Make Sure You Have Similar Goals
I’ve seen many vanlife couples put stress on their relationship because they start living the lifestyle and realize that they have different goals.
Some people are trying to become Instagram famous, create a successful YouTube Channel, or trying to visit all 50 states in 1 year. Make sure that you have similar goals and vision for vanlife.
It’s not to say that you can’t pursue different things, but it’s hard when you’re sharing one vehicle as your only means of transportation. It’s worth discussing the possible logistical problems of achieving different goals.
For example, if one of you wants to visit all 50 states in a year, and the other wants to travel a lot slower, then you may need to compromise on your travel plans.
Or maybe you don’t share all the same hobbies. If one of you likes to go surfing for hours, then what will your significant other do during that time.
So sit down with your significant other and each of you write down your goals, passions, hobbies, and anything you want to fit into your life.
Hopefully, there is a lot of overlap. But if there are any differences, brainstorm ways to accommodate each other’s goals.
The solutions may require sacrifices, but what relationships don’t require sacrifice? I promise it will help make this relationship last for many years to come! It’s truly one of the best tips for living vanlife as a couple.
8. Split The Radio Time
Lucky for us, Jake and I have similar taste in music. But there are times, where he wants to listen to his “guy humor” podcasts that I’m just not into. So, we came up with a rule, if you are the one driving, you get to listen to whatever you want. (PS: he drives 90% of the time).
But, I invested in some noise-canceling headphones, so if he listens to podcasts, then I just grab my headphones and listen to something I like.
Come up with a similar rule so the two of you can stay sane when you are driving. Especially if you have different taste in music.
9. Meet New People
The vanlife community is amazing! As fun as it can be to just talk to each other, it can make you go a little stir-crazy.
So reach out to other vanlifers/overlanders and see if they would like to meet up. It’s fun learning other people’s stories and how they came about this lifestyle! We have the most luck on Instagram.com because it helps us find other people who live like us.
Or if you’re traveling, don’t forget to visit old friends. It’s nice to reconnect with old friends you may not have been able to visit in the past.
10. Drive At Low Traffic Times
We both have some bad “road rage”. And it can change the mood of a road trip fast.
This is one time that we don’t particularly get mad at each other, but we get mad at how bad of drivers everyone else is. And because you usually have the freedom to drive whenever you want, you should try to avoid any unnecessary bad vibes.
Avoid popular ‘rush hour’ traffic times, and you will be much happier.
11. Talk Money
Money can be messy in any relationship. But if the topic is avoided, then it can create even bigger problems.
We made a pre-vanlife budget, to estimate how much money we would spend on average, and how long that money would last before we needed to pick up our next jobs. But don’t ignore the elephant in the room, make sure you are on the same page with money.
Do you guys have joint bank accounts? Are you on the same page about how much money you can spend each month? If you have remote jobs, do you have a solid plan for how to find internet on the road?
These questions will be different for each couple, but make sure you are on the same page about your expenses.
Check out are article on:
12. Split Up Chores
It can drive someone crazy if they do all the work and the other just sits by. So make sure you are both helping each other out and doing your part.
For example, if you cook, then the other should clean. Or if you swept the last time, the other should sweep the next time! It’s best if you keep things even, otherwise you can let things build up over time and you don’t want to crack that negative energy.
And you can always remind yourself that if you lived alone you wouldn’t even have anyone to share the chores. So remember that you are lucky to have someone to split chores with (even if it’s not always
13. Be Goofy/Make Each Other Laugh:
Ultimately, relationships should be fun, especially living vanlife as a couple. It’s easy to get cabin fever when you live in a 60sq foot box.
One thing we love about each other is making the other laugh. And it’s the easiest way to stay in a good mood. So, laugh at each other when you are in goofy mood, or if the other is having a bad day, give them a reason to smile!
Takeaway | Tips For Living Vanlife As A Couple
Living vanlife as a couple has its obvious perks, because you get to share all your experiences with your best friend.
Remember why you started vanlife in the first place! Have fun, and enjoy the journey!
If you keep good communication and follow many of these tips your relationship will remain much healthier and will hopefully last a lifetime!
How To Know If Vanlife Is Right For You? - tworoamingsouls
Tuesday 4th of April 2023
[…] Or if you are living vanlife with a significant other, you will face a different set of challenges. Couples may find it hard to live in a 60 sq. ft. box together. It simply doesn’t afford you that much personal space. And it can be hard for couples to pursue different jobs and hobbies when you both share a single vehicle (that’s also your house). (Read: Tips for Vanlife Couples) […]
Living In A Van Full-Time | What It's Really Like - tworoamingsouls
Wednesday 2nd of June 2021
[…] Tips For Living Vanlife As A Couple […]
Wendy Frisch
Tuesday 21st of April 2020
Love this post, Emily!
Emily Schroeter
Tuesday 21st of April 2020
Thanks Wendy! Gotta keep it real!